John: Wow, so that guy [King Charles] will be on our coins now?

[watching Wheel of Fortune, one of the contestant's name is Gary]
Miklos: Wow, a young guy named Gary.
John: Yeah, I always think of Garys as old grumpy men with less fingers than they need.

[driving along Hwy 3]
Nikki: Are you speeding?
Miklos: Yeah, a bit... But still not going as fast as this guy [car passes in left lane]. I'm going 95 and he's going like 107.
Nikki: How'd you come up with that number?
Miklos: Well the rate of speed he's getting away from us and my super brain powers...
Nikki: How'd you do in school? Were you good in Math class?
Miklos: Let's put it this way. Was the grading system a percentage or a points system?

[talking about an Spiny (jui.cc/xu) in Super Mario Odyssey after the Spiny kills him]
Johnny: That guy is just a tick in a shell. He's a loser.

[driving along the backroads]
Miklos: Hey, didn't we see this guy walking his dogs on the other road earlier?
Johnny: Imagine he was just plopped into this spot when we got near him like in Minecraft?
Miklos: Yeah .. like "if player near this point, then *plop*."
Johnny: But life isn't code, dad.
Miklos: What if it is? What if there's something bigger that programmed it all and we don't even know about it?
Johnny: I mean, we could be inside a giant cat's eyeball!
[Miklos laughs]
Johnny: Because Rico's eye looks like a universe. And dad, next time don't laugh at that because it's serious.

Miklos: Ppfttt everyone always has their phone
Curtis: Why did it take you a whole 11 minutes to say that?
Miklos: I didn't have my phone with me

Johnny: What's that from?
Miklos: A movie called Forrest Gump
Johnny: [pause] Is that a movie about a guy pooping in the woods?
Miklos: I said Gump, not dump

[Miklos joins the meeting with Jabra speaker phone instead of headset by accident. Window is open, neighbour is loud with a leaf blower]
Brett: Are you shaving?
Miklos: [realizing what's going on] ... the question is, WHAT, am I shaving?
Brett: Judging by the sound of it, EVERYTHING.

Miklos: You're a smart guy. You know what I am?
John: A destroyed man.

Johnny: Don't make me do boring stuff. I like doing cute stuff.
Miklos: Boring stuff. Like what?
Johnny: Like talking too much, or bringing in your iced coffee, or making you have to stop being on your phone all the time. That's it.
Miklos: And what about the cute stuff?
Johnny: That's like doing things I like... or like when mommy sings me a song.

[driving by a funeral home]
Johnny: Dad, why is that funeral guy there?
Miklos: There is a funeral going on right now.
Johnny: A funeral? Why?
Miklos: Yes, there are funerals all the time. You know, people die every day, it’s just a part of life.
Johnny: Funerals are so embarrassing.
Miklos: Embarrassing? Why?
Johnny: Because. You just sit there. And it’s embarrassing.
Miklos: It’s not embarrassing, it’s sad.
Johnny: It’s sad and embarrassing.

[playing Mario Kart]
Johnny: Why is his name Bowser dad?
Miklos: I don’t know, why is this guy’s name Mario?
Johnny: Because! His mother named him Mario when he was a baby!

Nikki: This guy's so annoying. He thinks he's 14 but he's actually like 77.

Alex: Don't you like that Baxo guy? He tells it like it is.
Well..he tells it like he'd like it to be.

*Alex falls asleep reading something on Jessica's phone*
Jessica: Can I have my phone back if you're gonna fall asleep?
Alex: Yeah, just pull the cord.
*Jessica pulls the cord and it gets stuck*
Alex: Ahh! That's my face!

[Nikki presses car's 'Media' button which begins playing music from Miklos's iPhone]
Nikki: Oh, sweet. You have the new U2 album on your phone!
Miklos: Yeah, it's great. And it was free.
Nikki: Wow, lucky. When'd you get that?
Miklos: Haha... ... ...is this a real conversation?
Nikki: No.

[channel surfing and stumbling upon the music video Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One]
Miklos: ugh this guy is white?
Nikki: I know eh? He sounds like a sweet black man.
Nikki: now I don't like him hehe

Nikki: [talking to the TV] Your credit card didn't go through because you spend too much money...
Miklos: [looking at phone] No, it's because I couldn't remember my PIN because I haven't used it in so long.
Nikki: Not you, the girl on TV.
Miklos: [still not paying attention] Ohh, me.
Nikki: NO, NOT you. The girl on TV!

Alex: That guy looks like a buffoon! And I've never used the word buffoon, but that man is a buffoon!

(while driving past the Little Caesar's sign-swinging guy currently moving the sign like a steering wheel)
Miklos: [in a sad fading voice] "I'm driving you awaaayy..."